Going Home

Let's talk about home. Home is where the heart is. It is sweet. God blesses it. There's no place like it. According to an old English proverb, apparently it's a mans castle. It is the place where, when you go there, they have to let you in (Robert Frost). We don't all have one, but I believe we all long for one to call our own.

I had a great conversation, once upon a time, at Maryhouse, the New York Catholic Worker, with Jeanette Noel and a few cohorts. We were speaking fondly about family, about how much we share with the siblings we grew up with. No matter where life takes us, there is a shared history and a bond with them like no other. What a great relief it can be to be with folks you don't need to explain yourself to! I made the observation, "But look where we are now, and who we're sharing our lives with." We are drawn to one another in the values and dreams we seek in life. We become new family members to each other as we live those dreams and find our new homes together.

My first home was the one I was born into. At the time I was born my Navy dad was away in a training program. My mother was staying with her parents in Peekskill, NY with my two older siblings Cathy and Jim. So, I was born not actually into my parents home, but my grandparents home. Being a military family, my birth happened at nearby West Point, making me the only one of the five Navy brats in my family to be born on an Army base. To make that distinction even more special, I was delivered by an Army nurse because the doctor didn't make it to the delivery room on time. So began my lifelong distaste of waiting for doctors and my admiration for the skills of nurses.

My first passport picture was taken when I was two months old in preparation for my first move at age three and a half months. My father was assigned to the Philippines, so off we went and I have been moving ever since. In fact, I've lived in three countries, fifteen locations and moved thirty one times, so far. I'm just an Irish American Navy brat gypsy, moving for any number of reasons. First, at the behest of my folks and the U. S. Navy, then on my own. I have followed different opportunities, sometimes with as much whim as purpose.

As an adult, I have lived by the gospel edict ~ If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you, shake the dirt from your feet and depart. I've had to do that a time or two in the past. I've lived in community and I've lived alone. I love solitude, silence, the freedom to create my own environment in which I can welcome others. I love being alone, but I'll admit it can get lonely. Then again, once when I was living with others, my need for solitude became so great that I took a tent and walked into the woods of our multi~acre property for some much needed respite. Our community dog joined me and she was wonderful company, but decided she'd had enough hermitage time by dusk and went back home on her own.

Ever the stranger in this strange land, I find myself most comfortable outside of the pre~packaged box, among artists, anarchists and the odd monk or two. At home with folks of common decency and uncommon minds and hearts. I have been amazed and greatly blessed by the extraordinary folk with whom I have shared some of my life. Each one has claimed their own piece of my heart, some more than others. With each bit of my heart claimed in life and in love, I find that my heart has grown stronger, larger, brighter, lighter. It is a treasure~filled thing beating in my chest, even when it grows weary from the journey!

Life is about choices, one of my best treasures recently told me. Sometimes though, we don't get to choose. Sometimes we choose poorly. Sometimes, we have to live with the consequences of choices made by others. For myself, I always include God and I always seek His will. I am smart enough to apply common sense along with spiritual sense. I may choose to seek the counsel of others in some of my more important choices, like finding home. What to do? Where to go? Hoping that I choose well and that this can be a long and happy sojourn, God willing!

I've roamed the world finding kith and kin. I find myself at present looking again for a place to settle my old gypsy bones and weary heart. If I feel myself becoming discontent in my quest, I am reminded of the words of Meister Eckhart, "God is at home, we are the ones who have gone out for a walk."