I
had a great conversation, once upon a time, at Maryhouse, the New
York Catholic Worker, with Jeanette Noel and a few cohorts. We were
speaking fondly about family, about how much we share with the
siblings we grew up with.
No matter where life takes us, there is a shared history and a bond
with them like no other. What a great relief it can be to be with
folks you don't need to explain yourself to! I made the observation,
"But look where we are now, and who we're sharing our lives
with." We are drawn to one another in the values and dreams we
seek in life. We become new family members to each other as we live
those dreams and find our new homes together.
My first home was the one I
was born into. At the time I was born my Navy dad was away in a
training program. My mother was staying with her parents in
Peekskill, NY with my two older siblings Cathy and Jim. So, I was
born not actually into my parents home, but my grandparents home.
Being a military family, my birth happened at nearby West Point,
making me the only one of the five Navy brats in my family to be born
on an Army base. To make that distinction even more special, I was
delivered by an Army nurse because the doctor didn't make it to the
delivery room on time. So began my lifelong distaste of waiting for
doctors and my admiration for the skills of nurses.
My first passport picture was
taken when I was two months old in preparation for my first move at
age three and a half months. My father was assigned to the
Philippines, so off we went and I have been moving ever since. In
fact, I've lived in three countries, fifteen locations and moved
thirty one times, so far. I'm just an Irish American Navy brat
gypsy, moving for any number of reasons. First, at the behest of my
folks and the U. S. Navy, then on my own. I have followed different
opportunities, sometimes with as much whim as purpose.
As
an adult, I have lived by the gospel edict ~ If
the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let
your peace return to you, shake the dirt from your feet and depart.
I've had to do that a time or two in the past. I've lived in
community and I've lived alone. I love solitude, silence, the
freedom to create my own environment in which I can welcome others.
I love being alone, but I'll admit it can get lonely. Then again,
once when I was living with others, my need for solitude became so
great that I took a tent and walked into the woods of our multi~acre
property for some much needed respite. Our community dog joined me
and she was wonderful company, but decided she'd had enough hermitage
time by dusk and went back home on her own.
Ever the stranger in this
strange land, I find myself most comfortable outside of the
pre~packaged box, among artists, anarchists and the odd monk or two.
At home with folks of common decency and uncommon minds and hearts.
I have been amazed and greatly blessed by the extraordinary folk with
whom I have shared some of my life. Each one has claimed their own
piece of my heart, some more than others. With each bit of my heart
claimed in life and in love, I find that my heart has grown stronger,
larger, brighter, lighter. It is a treasure~filled thing beating in
my chest, even when it grows weary from the journey!
Life is about choices, one of my
best treasures recently told me. Sometimes though, we don't get to
choose. Sometimes we choose poorly. Sometimes, we have to live with
the consequences of choices made by others. For myself, I always
include God and I always seek His will. I am smart enough to apply
common sense along with spiritual sense. I may choose to seek the
counsel of others in some of my more important choices, like finding
home. What to do? Where to go? Hoping that I choose well and that
this can be a long and happy sojourn, God willing!
I've
roamed the world finding kith and kin. I find myself at present
looking again for a place to settle my old gypsy bones and weary
heart. If I feel myself becoming discontent in my quest, I am
reminded of the words of Meister Eckhart, "God
is at home, we are the ones who have gone out for a walk."
